This week marks the one year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti. I don’t measure my year from January 1st. I measure from January 12. I think a lot of people (at least those in Haiti) feel that way.
I am dedicating this week’s posts to Haiti. I am going to try to post things only related to remembering the tragedy that struck the country of Haiti and the moments and days that followed. Today’s entry is an excerpt which comes from the first blog entry I made following the quake. The entry in its entirety can found on January 14, 2010. You can use the label, ‘earthquake’ to locate it.
Personally, I am numb. There are moments when I can't stop from crying and moments when I hear the stories and don't know where to start unraveling what I feel. We sit here in Cayes with steak kabobs, a beautiful breeze, the internet and Diet Coke. I'm struggling with that. I feel guilty. Guilty because for the moment, life is as it was. I feel guilty for feeling like I've lost something because in reality I have lost nothing, I have seen nothing, and I have felt nothing while there are those who have lost everything, those who are broken, and those who are dead. I feel guilty for being idle…I am praying… And I am ready. But while the truth is I am doing what I can, I feel like there is something more I should do. And yet, there is nothing more that I can do, for now. Again, only time will tell.
No one ever imagines a tragedy of this nature is about to occur. And no matter what you do to realign your thoughts when it does, it still isn't enough. Sometimes in the midst of something like this, even God feels a little small. But I know that the truth is, God is enough. I just have to walk daily in His shadow, and wait quietly by his side. And be ready when He calls me to action. That's what I can do.
…that's where I'm at. Pray for me. Pray for the people of Haiti. Pray for those who have lost everything and those who are suffering. Pray for the government. Pray for the other missionaries and humanitarians'. Pray for the families of those who have died. Pray for the President of Haiti, Renee Preval.
Pray that God would be gracious to us and heal us. I'd appreciate it.